Santa Claus is coming to town. Or at least he would be if they hired a new one to be stationed at the mall already. So far? Empty. Children are fussing over it whenever they pass the section where their favorite Father Christmas would sit on. It is nearing the months of the holidays so where is he? Are they still on the process of hiring one? Seriously, why not just hire the same guy from last year? He has always been the Dallas Santa for Hire.
Next to think about? Well, remember Radagast from The Hobbit, There and Back Again? That old wizard that always gets high. That funky paranoid fella? Yeah, him. Have a fun party with him as Father Christmas. Imagine him in red instead of brown.
How about Albus Dumbledore? The great and powerful wizard in Harry Potter that held a lot of secrets. He seemed like the perfect guy to be a Father Christmas. He had the same jolly personality on him too. It just does not sit well with a lot of people that he holds too many secrets though. A secretive Santa. Hey, a Secret Santa. Get it?
One less sad person, right? And it is only for the holidays. Though, to be honest, the smell might be a problem. How long do you think they have gone without taking a bath? Do we really want those people close to our kids?
But that cartoon not to be taken seriously. South Park is known for being controversial, satirical and all out cruel. Hilarious, yes, but very crude. But it has been known as a masterpiece and has taught this humble writer a lot of things concerning some topic issues we never even heard of from this side of the globe.
Tywin Lannister. Silence. We know. But if you pause and actually imagine him as your Santa, actually no. Nevermind. It sounds like a bad idea. The scariest and most badass character wearing the colors of red and gold, who also died in the toilet, walking in the halls wearing red and white garb. Well. What a way to haunt everybody and their nightmares.
Why are we talking about cartoons? We were speaking about the missing Santa in the mall. How hard can it be to find an older man with a white beard? Unless they do not even want to volunteer in the first place. That is just a sad waste of material to work on. They could cosplay as some badass bearded dude.
Or how about Ser Barristan Selmy? The Commander of the Kings Guard back in Kings Landing. Then he became one to Daenerys Targaryen later. He was as honorable as Ned Stark and as skilled as the Kingslayer, if not more. Someone that precious has to be the perfect one for this.
If all else fails, there is Gandalf. According to charts, he is the strongest wizard in all of movie history. And if Mr. Claus is a strong wizard, would that not mean he can conjure so many cool presents for everyone? Okay, we have a winner.
Next to think about? Well, remember Radagast from The Hobbit, There and Back Again? That old wizard that always gets high. That funky paranoid fella? Yeah, him. Have a fun party with him as Father Christmas. Imagine him in red instead of brown.
How about Albus Dumbledore? The great and powerful wizard in Harry Potter that held a lot of secrets. He seemed like the perfect guy to be a Father Christmas. He had the same jolly personality on him too. It just does not sit well with a lot of people that he holds too many secrets though. A secretive Santa. Hey, a Secret Santa. Get it?
One less sad person, right? And it is only for the holidays. Though, to be honest, the smell might be a problem. How long do you think they have gone without taking a bath? Do we really want those people close to our kids?
But that cartoon not to be taken seriously. South Park is known for being controversial, satirical and all out cruel. Hilarious, yes, but very crude. But it has been known as a masterpiece and has taught this humble writer a lot of things concerning some topic issues we never even heard of from this side of the globe.
Tywin Lannister. Silence. We know. But if you pause and actually imagine him as your Santa, actually no. Nevermind. It sounds like a bad idea. The scariest and most badass character wearing the colors of red and gold, who also died in the toilet, walking in the halls wearing red and white garb. Well. What a way to haunt everybody and their nightmares.
Why are we talking about cartoons? We were speaking about the missing Santa in the mall. How hard can it be to find an older man with a white beard? Unless they do not even want to volunteer in the first place. That is just a sad waste of material to work on. They could cosplay as some badass bearded dude.
Or how about Ser Barristan Selmy? The Commander of the Kings Guard back in Kings Landing. Then he became one to Daenerys Targaryen later. He was as honorable as Ned Stark and as skilled as the Kingslayer, if not more. Someone that precious has to be the perfect one for this.
If all else fails, there is Gandalf. According to charts, he is the strongest wizard in all of movie history. And if Mr. Claus is a strong wizard, would that not mean he can conjure so many cool presents for everyone? Okay, we have a winner.
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